Monday, 3 March 2014

hiding behind "healthy"

Hi readers I'm back!


I know it has been a long time, (about a year I think) but don't worry because you haven't missed much.

There has been guys, work, eating issues, I made a new friend at a different and more classy strip club (Chloe), I had three new jobs, lost my licence then got it back.

So now that you are all up to date with my ever so exciting life lets get back to the topic at hand (hiding behind "healthy")

It would be one of the first signs of an eating issue; that girl at the party or a restaurant who says no a slice of birthday cake, or orders a plate of vegetables because she has an "intolerance" to something or she is a "vegan".
These people use an intolerance as an excuse to avoid a lot of "fear food"  like bread, cheese, red meat or any junk food.

And coming from someone who does this I know it works.
In-fact it works so well that now I have a real intolerance to dairy, fatty food and some heavy protean like read meat and turkey gives me cramps.

Another "healthy lifestyle" trick people hide behind is when going out drinking.
While everyone is downing Redbull and vodka or cocktails she is drinking a dry white or a vodka soda and lime; when a guy offered her a drink like a vodka squash or a screwdriver she declines and makes up some excuse about not drinking that much tonight, or a classic like "energy drinks make me feel sick" or "I find vodka raspberry too sweet".
Then when the guy walks away or her friends feel awkward and eventually give up she sighs with relief because all of those empty calories will not be worrying her tonight.
And no need to worry about thous 3am pizza slices or kebabs because everyone knows you are a vegan.

But little do they know that being a vegan doesn't mean you are living off nuts and tofu and beans and big tasty vegan gluten free vegetable burgers instead of all the stuff you cut out, really what you have done is cut the "fear higher calorie" food and not replaced it.
essentially you are living off bunny food cottage cheese and long blacks and saying "I'm a vegetarian" .

What's for dinner?
Steam vegetables with a sprinkle of lemon and egg whites....it's healthy
What's for a snack?
One whole date chopped up with half a cup of air popped pop corn. 
...you get the point.

That gluten free soy free egg free dairy free bread you love is not because it's healthy, it's really because it's the lowest calorie bread on the market.


So yeah. there wasn't really a point to this, I just wanted you to know that I know your secrete, or help you identify a eating issue in a friend.

Yours always The Awkward Girl xx

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Metabolism jump start and pee

Hey my little mouse clickers.

A quick update on how i am going in my quest for recovery.
I have upped my calories from 500 to about 900-1000 i am taking ion pills and eating small amounts of chicken and fish.

But despite my efforts to prove to people I’m getting better I have had a bit of a shock.
I weighed myself on Sunday expecting to see something like 60kg or 61kg going from 59kg (a small gain but it’s a start) well what I saw was 57.8kg. I have never seen it that low in all my days, even when i hardly ate a thing.
I think my metabolism is working better now that I’m getting food and protean, not good when you want people to think you’re eating more and i was kind of pissed off because i worked hard to eat that little bit extra and now people won’t believe me; I even feel thinner in the face and belly area.

Well because it’s working so well now I’m starving all the time.
Yesterday while I was filing at work (30 min after a big lunch and cheese puffs and a freddo chocolate) my belly started to make notices then my energy plummeted to the ground like an obese skydiver.

"Holy shit, i need food stat"
My energy was dropping so quickly i barely made it to my jelly cup before i passed out like a model at fashion week.
And I nomed that jelly cup up so fast like it was saving my life.

But it was like my stomach was working overtime; it started to rumble and feel empty within 15 min.
You should have seen me when I got home, I started cooking and eating like i was having an outer body experience.

But despite my intense hunger I still managed to put together an egg white omelette with mushroom capsicum onion artichoke and spinach.
When I came back to earth I was very impressed with what i can chuck together when I’m blind with hunger.

So that was my health, now ill will give you the inside scoop on my stripping.

Wednesday was a good night for me; i came away with $410 yay!
I didn’t end up working in peeps that night, because a girl i was working with doesn’t really do privates because she has a boyfriend. That fine, more money for me.

My first private for the night was youngish and kind of chubby.
he gave me the feeling that he wasn’t very good with people.
He gave me $100 and kept asking me about my hair maintenance. "Do you shave or wax?" he said as he rubbed my legs.
I quickly snuck a feel of my legs to see if there was stubble from my goose bumps, (I was kind of cold) but all was ship shape this guy is clearly crazy.

Then he made comments on my lady bits "you have such a perfect pussy, it’s like a drawing"
"umm thanks' i said after looking down to inspect my seemingly normal vagina.

We stood up and i continued to pull on his little ding dong, every now and then he would try and touch me down there and i would have to tell him "no that’s not allowed" but he did get me when my hands were "occupied" and quickly got a finger past my pussy lips and then licked his finger. (i should of charged him an extra $50 for that)

After a long time we got closer to the end and I told him i would like to make him "finish" before time is up and like clockwork there was a warm squirt then another down my leg.
I first thought he was Cumming but then it started to smell and sting; I had just been peed on, splendid.
Maybe he didn’t want to disappoint me, how sweet.
Oh yeah. He also left a skid mark on the towel covering the table.

I acted cool and waited till he had left the club before my freak-out to start.
Seeing as there was no anti bacterial wash in the room I had to rush to the bathroom and scrub my leg with hot water and soap, i will never be clean again.

But that was made up for when my next client came in.
Tall, clean early 30s and European.
He gave me $100 to be nude with touching and hand relief.
He was not only lovely, interesting and well travelled he smelled nice too; a perfect client.

After some time in the massage room he sat up on the edge of the table and put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer.
I continued with the hand job as he trailed his lips over my collar bone and exhaled; it was the kind of sensual touch that made me go weak at the knees.
He kissed my neck and our faces were so close out noses were nearly touching, I had to remind myself that he was a client.

He finished and I spent the last few minutes giving him a back rub and relaxing him.
Wow that is sooo much better than the one legged old man and the fat guy that peed on my leg.

So that was that, other clients have come in but those were the more eventful ones.

My birthday is in two days so happy 22nd birthday to me :)

My best friend might not be able to go out clubbing to celebrate because she has no money, I have told her to dress up for clubbing anyway when we go to dinner and I’ll be sure to get her drunk before its night club time.

I have a way with people.

I pick up my big sister from the airport tomorrow yay
And that is it I think.
I will let you know how my birthday goes.

The Awkward Girl xoxo

Monday, 6 May 2013

Starting over...again.

So I survived Monday and i was awake and focused all day, this is new for me, I normally don't crash it’s just a state of being for me. I just am”crashed".

I have tried eating little bits of chicken and fish and that’s helping.
I’m still under a healthy calorie amount for the day but it is better.
Eg yesterday i ate around 840 calories.

Oh yeah. I’m not supposed to be counting calories.

Breakfast:
1 small wheat pancake
1 banana (big mistake, I have never been so full)
3/4 sachet of Nescafe skim Capp
1 mini yogurt topped rice cracker

Morning tea:
2 baby carrots
1 Freddo Frog
1 pack of chicken potato stix

Lunch:
1/3 Pack of slim pasta
A tiny bit of chicken
1/3 can of diced tomato
A bunch of vegetables like onion tomato zucchini mushroom

1/2 Tub of Chobini Greek yogurt
30g mix berries

Afternoon Tea:
Jelly fruit cup

Dinner:
1 dim sum (I was hungry while cooking dinner)
 2 mini yogurt topped rice cracker
1 teaspoon light peanut butter

Finally dinner is ready:
35g tuna
1/4 onion
1/4 zucchini
1 ring capsicum
1/2 mouton bread - rice
2 mushrooms baby
1 1/2 egg whites

I will have the other half for lunch today

Dissert:
2 Fruit jelly cups
2 teaspoons sugar free drinking chocolate
Water
Dash of skim milk and skim soy

1 mini yogurt topped rice cracker
Some plain air popped popcorn
2 prunes

Wow, when I lay it out like that it looks like a lot. I really need to not snack like that at night, I’m not hungry I just get board. You Know that feel?


Today will be somewhat the same, but i had a sandwich thin with light peanut butter and only half a banana for breakfast. (Although I was still crazy full.)
No carrots today, instead i had the other half of my banana.
Swapping Greek yogurt and berries for a diet mousse, and swapping Potato stix for popcorn.
I’m having the other half of last night’s dinner for lunch, and I have a light pineapple Jelly.

I'm going to August's house for dinner, It was agreed that every two weeks i have dinner at her house and every two weeks i have dinner at Diana's place.

I’m worried I’m going to get fat but I know there are more inportant things to worry about.
My sister is coming up from Tasmania in 10 days for my birthday; i don’t think i will get too fat in that time.
What about my stripping?  Men don’t want a chunky stripper; I’m already the fat one.

Anyway, i just wanted to give you an update.
I will post something more meaningful soon. Maybe funny i hope.

OH! Before I forget, there was a guy at the strip club that booked me for a 2 song private dance, he was a bit strange.

I strip down and first thing he does is complement me on my "little boobs" because if you didn’t know I am the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
Then he insisted that i dance close up to his face, I’m talking CLOSE UP. Like if i stuck out my tongue I would lick his nose;
He wanted to be near my face.
"You have such a lovely face" he kept saying.
Well I guess he was not a ass,tits or legs man. He was a face man.... because thats a thing now i guess.

Talk soon

The Awkward Girl
xoxo

Sunday, 5 May 2013

Pain and Loneliness

Hi Readers.

This post is going to be very personal and kind of sad.

For those people who were hoping for funny I'm sorry.

I guess i have always been a sad person but I hide it with being funny. I've found that when people stop and look at me I get a lot of comments like "what’s wrong?" "You look pale, are you sick?" or "you have really sad eyes".
Sometimes my friend comes to me and tells me that people talk to her about me after they first meet me, they always say stuff like "hey Diana your friend looks really unhappy" if its not comments about my face they just tell her they think I’m strange.
When people say i look sad i usually just say "no I’m not sad it's just my face" and that’s kind of true, I have been this way for so long that it has just become my face.

So why should i be sad?
I could give you reasons in dot point, or maybe a timeline?
I don't fucking know, just bear with me.

I guess a big reason is that I’m alone in life, i have always been alone and i have always had to be enough for myself.

I had a lot of friends in school from 4 years old to 7 years old.
Then one day all my friends abandoned me, some moved and others started to follow the new girl around.
I spent three years without any friends i would just find a corner of the school and stand there all lunch. At first i would cry but after a while i got use to my own company and lost all interest in making friends.

Then i made a few short-lived friendships, they were nice girls. One of them even convinced me to talk to the teacher when i told her my Mum held a knife to my throat and had been beating me since i was 7.
But that friend disappeared one day and made new friends and that nice young teacher that helped me and supported me died of cancer a few months later.
And like that i was alone again and my Mum and Dad were getting a divorce and i was getting pushed into therapy. (Therapy stopped when dad started to become occupied with finding a new wife and making a new family that wasn’t broken, my sister and i were the shards of a broken family, he wanted a shiny new one)

Then I met Diana when i was 12. (It will be 10 years of being best friends in July this year ♥)

So things were normal for a while. My Dad started seeing Anne and she was really nice to me and Diana, she would get us gifts and teach us about food.
But i didn’t see what she was doing to my older sister Emma because i was so young.
She would bring back a huge bag of clothes for me and nothing for her, she would be mean to her and tell lies to my dad about her.

I see now that she was pushing out the last wives kids one by one, and because Emma was 16 she went first and Emma went to live with Mum leaving me alone with my soon to be evil step mother.
And as predicted i got older she married dad and gave him two kids and things got harder living at home.

I started high school and hung around with a few friends Diana had made.
Things were kind of normal, yes there were bullies but they didn’t bother me until later.

Second year i was separated from Diana and put in a class that was populated with only the popular girls and jocks.  L
Then i had to go on a camp with them for a week. It was the most horrible time of my life and one of the longest amounts of time i went without talking.
The girls would huddle together whispering look over at me and giggle. (You know that kind of girl, unless you were one of those girls then GTFO of my Blog!)

Finally the camp was over and Dad and Anna Picked me up from school and took me into the city to have coffee with their friends.
I wanted to cry, I felt dirty and tired sad.
At the café I got my period for the first time, I was 14.
Worse week ever and Anna got me panty liners, what the hell am I suppose to do with them?

Then when I was 15 I went from an Australian size 14-16 to a size 6-8.
That was the first time people noticed me.
Popular girls would come up to me and ask how I did it, my dad kept telling me how good i looked and I got my first real boyfriend (Matt).
But it was also when the bulling got really bad;
A group of  Bogans (look it up) had targeted me because they thought i was a lesbian. Every day they wrote on my locker "lesbian" and they knocked me around or corned me in the hall.
I now have nerve damage in my shoulder from being pushed into locker metal tabs you put your lock in to.

Sometimes they vandalised my art projects and they flicked cigarettes at me (it feels like a bee sting) I didn't feel safe at school but I couldn’t go home because Anna was there and she has started to mentally abuse me.
Once she yelled at me and said "I’m not your mother and I would never want to be!"
So it’s best just to try and hide at school.
This also explains why I am very much pro gay rights, I got bullied because people thought i was gay so I can kind of imagine what it’s like for people who are gay, but its probably much worse for them.


I think during my relationship with Matt i still had feelings for Stuart (I talk about him is a previous blog) a Goth in my art and math class I had a huge crush on (we stayed friends for 6 years sometimes the line blurred but I loved him for the whole 6 years we were friends)
Matt liked to bring me down by telling me about the jocks who asked why he was with me or he would tell me about the girls at work who flirted with him. Sometimes he would tell me if I didn’t give him a hand job he would break up with me.
I was shy and not ready, I was only 15/16 years old.

A month before our formal (prom) we broke up, and a week later he started seeing a girl from his work who cheated on him after they has sex for the first time after formal (karma is a cold bitch).

During the summer break before collage he convinced me he still loved me and we hooked up, I later found out it was a trick to win a $20 bet.
(You can read more about sex with Matt in "one bad sex turns into many").

So i guess you can say i was a little unwilling to trust men after that.

When I was 18 my Dad started to bag up my things and through them in the trash.
He told me it was because I had a messy room but I don’t think that was all of it.
I didn’t do drugs, I payed rent, I had a job, I never stayed out late.
I just had a bit of a messy room, like that’s the end of the world!
He bagged up my things three times before I moved in with Diana and her family; I guess I held on for so long because I didn’t want Anna to win.

I only stayed in Tasmania a few months after that, in November Diana's family took me with them when the moved to Canberra.
This is what happened when i told my dad; "umm Dad I just wanted to tell you I’m moving to Canberra with Diana's family"
He didn’t look up from his computer and said "ok, we’ll make sure you keep in contact with us".


So that was it, and within two weeks i was moving.

I really feel like i need to quickly sum up what happened next.
I got a Job doing data entry for a month, and then i got a job working in a takeaway as a sandwich maker.
While working there i felt sad and pathetic, I didn’t know what to do so I did what I think people do when there sad; I drank.
Then August (Diana's Mum) got me a job as her assistant.
things were ok for a bit, then I became depressed again and I hid in my room and shut people out, August yelled at me a lot telling me how selfish I am and how I’m ungrateful because she had given me everything and I have given her nothing.
I felt like I wasn’t wanted.
Diana was seeing a boy and she kept coming home with bruises, so I checked her diary to see if he was abusing her; her most reactant entry was about how annoying I am because I was sad and how she wished I hadn’t moved with her and her family.
I was devastated, where was I going? What can I do now?
I couldn't go back to Tasmania, there was no place for me there, but I wasn't wanted with Diana. No one wanted me and I was alone.
So i made plans to kill myself; I was trying to get in to see a doctor to get some sleeping pills, then i  would take the day off work, take all the pills and sit in my car with a hose in the tail pipe going into my window. It would be easy.

I don’t remember what stopped me, but I know if I failed August would have yelled at me really bad.

After that my eating disorder got worse, although i didn’t really loose much more weight people started to talk and Diana told August; you wouldn’t believe the months of lecturing i got, and i couldn’t trust Diana anymore witch just made me feel more alone.
I was so unhappy. I ended up telling my sister Emma and she was supportive but i could never get a hold of her.
Diana assured me i can talk to her and she won’t tell her mum ever again, but that lasted for maybe a month and just like clockwork I got yelled at by her mum and my trust was broken.
I was alone again.

People at work really started to talk and my boss started to tell me my performance was slipping.
I told Emma things were getting bad and she told my mum, at that time August took an extra step and now HR at work is involved, and my boss thinks I’m at risk of killing myself, and my dad is about to get involved. 
August isn’t sure about telling my dad because she’s worried it will do more damage if he doesn’t care and meets my low expectations.

I don’t have an eating disorder; I have an emotional instability that is manifesting its self in anorexia like symptoms.

August and i had a long talk about the actions that needed to be taken and some reasons behind my "breakdown".
One thing I have realised is that a part of me still doesn’t believe dad abandoned me when he went and made himself happy when he was broken. Finding him a new wife and going to the pub and only meeting his needs and forgetting Emma and i because we were part of a broken family and he needed a new one.
When I’m asked about him I end up repeating things August tells me but i honestly don’t know what to think or how I feel.

So my first step is to understand what dad did, then i have to let it go.
It can take some time and in that time i have to eat more and bring up my performance at work and find a new job (my contract ends in October).

Also apparently i am pushing my loved ones away because as humans we can’t help but repeat our past.
I expect people to leave me and so I am closing myself up and pushing people away.
I feel like it’s just a matter of time till August, Diana and their family put up their hands and say "I’m sorry i just can’t anymore".

So that’s why I haven’t been on in a while (also my internet is down)  
And as i finish this my boss is in a 3 hour long meeting with other high managers talking about me.

This has been a hard day.

Sorry if this is a bit jumbled or some of the words are wrong, this was a rush job.

Talk soon The Awkward Girl


Thursday, 18 April 2013

All Things In Good Time.

Hi People

So after my first shift as a stripper I had 4 more.
I have decided after very little consideration to do hand relief  (hand jobs).
It will bring me in an extra $50 for each client and honestly if you think about it it’s just a penis.


Although I have been making more money recently it's still considered as being slow.
I think I might be just unlucky.
On Friday last week i was working till 12am but nearly no one came in because the neon club sign wasn't working, and on Saturday no one was staffing the club and I couldn’t get in, then once a girl let me in we had to close because we couldn’t work the till and had no way to get change for the clients.

Although i did come away from Friday night with over $200, but according to the girls thats what i should make on a "standard" night.
Friday night i should be making double that, so i look forward to the neon sign working for this Friday night.


Now i suppose you want some dirt on the clients?
What happened in the private massage room?
How big were their dicks?
Did they do something funny?

Well i really can't say, I have to protect their privacy...

I'm kidding, and they were all freaks.

"yeah babay you're way better than my wife"

One of the girls told me there is a guy that likes to eat his cum, and another guy that is into spanking.
I really hope i don't get them.
Maybe the spanking i coul'd do, It would be better for me than him. >;-)    hahaha

I won't tell you about them all but I will pick out a few encounters that might make for interesting writing material (the ones I can actually remember).

There was my first hand relief client; he was young and chubby with a small ding-dong.
I asked him what i can do for him today and gave him the "extras" price list.
As expected he picked hand relief and touching me. Boom that’s $80 straight up.
It was his first time in a strip club and he was clearly very shy.
I got him to lie down after he undressed.
I tried wanking him for 10 min and nothing, it was like he was cuming internally. Every now and then he would mone and say "omg that’s so good" or he would apologise that he wasn’t cumming while he felt my boobs and my legs and my stomach.

After a while he asked if he could get himself off, i didn't mind i like this job because I’m lazy so he can knock himself out.
It became apparent he was a two finger wanker, it kind of looked like he was trying to pull it off, but it didn't take long for him to finish.
He wanted to give me more money; turns out I’m "lovely".


And on that note, here is a pic of my "uniform" for that night.

My Uniform

Another client was a regular, and he was the guy that was in last week trying to write on the glass in the peep show room.

He just wanted the option of me taking off my underpants $20.
After handing me fist fulls of mints and chocolates (witch i really did not want) he got undressed.

He was a bit shorter than me and was very clean, shaved pubes and upper legs, hairless back and bum.
A perfect client.
he lay face down and got me to give him a back rub.
He talked to me about how he would like to work here and give ladies back rubs, I didn’t have to heart to tell him a lady won’t pay for someone under 5'3 and older than 40 unless he’s Tom Cruise.
He also said that I have an "unusual" pussy.
I looked down "really? But you can’t see anything, it's all shaved and nothing hangs out, it looks normal to me"
He said it reminded him of his ex. (oh gosh thanks)

He also said that he could tell i was an interesting person by looking at me in peeps, I had a sweet face and i didn't look like the other strippers, there was something more to me.





Well isn’t he sweet.
He then wanted to give me a back rub; he didn’t pay to touch me but whatever.
As he climbed over me and rubbed my back he taught he how to say hello in 12 different languages, i can’t remember any of them.
Our session then ended and i said good bye

I only went back down to peeps for a moment before i got another client for a 30 min massage.

I came back up and my last client was still there, I tried not to look at him too much and showed client to the massage room.

I gave him the prices and he chose hand relief and touching me, our capped package of $80

He was middle aged with a shaved head, he looked like a swimmer or a runner.
He stripped down and lay on the table face down.
i started to rub his legs, "are you a runner, you have very well defined legs?"
"I'm a cyclist; I’m here on the weekend to compete"

After a while i got him to flip over and i could see his balls her very high up...from all that bike riding i guess.
He was also circumcised and the head of his dong kind of looked like a mushroom cap.
I started on him and tried touching his balls and what not but his ball placement made it really hard to figure out where to grab.
I encouraged him to touch me and he kept commenting on my boobs.
"I like that you have normal boobs"
Or he would grab at my bum or my hips "you don’t see many nice normal girls working  like this"

Great, I’m flat and fat.

After a while of me got getting anywhere with him he finally came.
i grabbed some tissues and cleaned his belly up and continued to rub his legs and arms and chest, the idea was that with our last few min he can put his hands over me and i will try and relax him.

Then our time ran out and he left, I would normally walk him out but my last client was still there talking to the manager, I think they might be friends.

On Wednesday night i did get a group of teens in peeps, i hate it when that happens, they all huddle in one booth and giggle at you but you still only get paid for one person.
And as predicted they put in about $6 and made faces at me while i danced and smiled.
Then one came back alone, he was cute and looked too young to be in a sex club, he reminded me of Harry styles.
He smiled and waved at me and i waved at him.
I danced around and touched myself for a few minutes, because really all they want is 40 seconds of porn.


So that’s a bit of an idea of what happens.
I really hope the Neon sign is working tonight Mumma wants a new pair of boots.
If all goes well tonight i could be coming away with over $300.
Also there might not be other girls working tonight so i would be getting all the money from peeps and privates. God i hope another girl comes, Friday night till 12am; there will be a lot of drunks banging on the glass in the peeps room.

It makes my sympathise for goldfish
Fishy Fishy Fishy!!!!



Then the owner can come out and be like "stop tapping on the glass, they don’t like that"


Well wish me luck and i hope i make lots of money $$$$

Awkward Girl oxo

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Rose's first day on the job


Hello my lovelies, sorry it has been so long.

First off i would like to share an unrelated story with you from my high school days.

I was sitting in class one day and suddenly I needed to pee pretty badly.
I asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom, she said "yes but be quick about it"
Challenge accepted.
So I went to the nearest bathroom outside the extra needs class down the hall but to my disappointment there was a whiteboard blocking the bathroom door with a sign reading "out of order"
Thinking that it had been wheeled there from the extra education class I started to push it out of the way.
Suddenly i hear the cleaner Mr Garth behind me say "hey what are you doing? The sign says the bathroom is out of order"
I pause for a moment while my brain ticked over "ohhhh I thought the whiteboard was out of order"
*face palm*


Ok i just wanted to share that with you all.
Now then, back to Rose and my first day in a strip club.


My Saturday started like any other Saturday (except for the early start so i could groom myself)
I showered and washed my hair, exfoliated, shaved my legs underarms and pubes.
I then moisturised did my hair and make up, painted my nails and finally had breakfast.

Then i went into town to exchange a skirt for a smaller size got coffee and mints and at 11:50am sharp i arrived at the strip club.
Also i had developed blocked ears and could only hear if i talked like Fran Fine from The Nanny.





Neena showed me to the dressing room and ran through a few things with me while i got changed into my pink bra and g-string set.
I asked her a few questions about pricing of "extras" if i got booked, and pay (witch i collect in cash at the end of my shift)

After a while of hanging around in the dressing room two other girls came in, a little blonde called Scarlet and a little red head called Eden.
Then were very nice to me and told me when to go through the curtain to the peep show room.

To elaborate in case you don’t know, a Peep show is where there are little toilet cubical with coin boxes and windows in them surrounding a mirrored room with a leather mattress on the floor.
from the outside it just looks like a row of cubical, but on my end there are five little foggy windows in front of me that go clear every time someone puts money in, also followed by a beep.

I wait in the dressing room with the girls listening for the sound of foot steps and the swing of the cubical door.
Then we hear a beep and they tell me I’m on.

I turn up the music and go through the curtain to the mirrored room looking for the clear window while at the same time i swing my hips and start to take off my bra.
I spot a scruffy middle aged man he smiles at me and i take my panties off. (Note to self. DO NOT wear glitter heels when stripping. The glitter will catch on the lace undies and make it very hard to look sexy while you’re trying to rip your panties off your shoe while at the same time your other shoe is sticking to everything in the room)

Once I got nude I hear another “beep” that was the sound of him putting more money in the wall box.
I flick my hair around and drop low to the floor running my hands along my body and down my legs, I then proceeded to slowly run my hands along my lady bits.
"Beep" he puts in more money.
I then continue the process of standing, hair flinging, body caressing, and Va-jayjay touching.
I hear two more beeps till the screen goes black and i put my underwear back on and go back to the dressing room.

I danced for one hour then i changed over to Scarlet.
During my first one hour I only ended up dancing for three people, but I had hopes it would pick up around lunch.
I waited around for a bit longer and then decided to go up top to the counter and maybe i might get booked for a private dance.

It was deader up there than Michel Jackson (too soon?)
I chatted to the manager for a while and watched a little Chinese man get some porn, and a young guy get a crack pipe and synthetic weed.

My turn was coming up soon so i went back down bellow to the dressing room.

When i got there they were getting dressed to go out for lunch and left me to the peeps room alone.

For the hour and a half they were away only two men came in.
The first guy pointed at the chair in the peeps show room and gestured for me to bring it over to his window.
I sat there on the chair for a few minuets witching his shoulder bob up and down as he pressured himself to the sight of me running my hands all over my body.
When the screen went dark i thought for sure he would book me for a private dance but he didn't.

The next guy was a younger fellow, he put in his $2 and i quickly started to strip and tug my undies away from my glitter heels. Then the screen went dark and i wanted for the second beep but it never came.
I was hoping he might be booking me for a private dance but i ended up just sitting in the dressing room eating mints and trying to unblock my ears.

The girls came back and Eden went on peeps.
Then we got a call on the intercom that we had a guy up here wanting a private.
"Rose will do it!" Scarlet shouted.
I hurried up the steps and found a 25-30 year old Asian guy at the counter.
"How much do you charge for ""extras?"" he boldly asked.
"$50 to touch me, $20 to touch yourself and $100 for kissing. But if you get touching and kissing together it’s at a discount price of $120. I don't do full service" (i sound like I’m selling a car)
He looked at me a moment.
"So um, how much for hand relief?"
I thought i just said i don’t do that. *sigh well that’s an extra $70 I’m about to loose.
"I’m sorry i don’t do that, I can go bellow and ask one of out other girls if you like?"
So that’s what i did.

Maybe "hand relief" is something i can work up to.

After a while i got booked for a 15 min massage, the girls warned me that this guy will hassle you to let him have a freebie and he will pay me later, but i have to stand my ground.

I went up top and met the guy who was trying to pay at the counter on his card.
His name was Mic and he looked like a chubby 27 year old, maybe 29.
He had to quickly duck out and get another card and while he did this Scarlet told me that a 15 min massage is about 4 songs and i have to be topless but i can charge extra to have my panties off and all other extras.

So i showed him into the small massage room and asked him to strip down to what ever he felt safe with.
I took off my bra and turned on the music.

Mic wanted to stay seated while i rubbed his legs.
He also wanted to touch himself but i stayed firm, it's an extra $20 for that.
"Come on just let me have a little bit, I’ll bring in $40 next time"

I sighed, "look I’m sorry sweetie, i cant just let you have a freebie, then the other clients will want it too"

"aww but it kind of kills the massage" he said

"Well next time you should bring in more money and i make sure you have a lovely time"

This went on for a while, and in the end i let him have one minute of a play with himself because I’m nice.

It was pretty slow that night, but i got a feel for the place and i hope my other shifts will pick up.

Takings for the night
$80.00

I learned:
Get heat protector spray for hair
Mints are not food
Get hand sanitizer
I can make double with hand relief
Glitter shoes are a big nono.


Stay tuned i will fill you in as i have more shifts.

The Awkward Girl xoxo

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Meet Rose

Hi Readers.

I went to the strip club today to talk about work and it went well.
Let me explain.
I'll go in on Saturday for a try out in the peep show room. 
The peep show room is a $2 for 40 seconds  coin operated viewing room, think of it as a sexy vending  machine.
I get half of every $2 made.



You just get nude In 2 min and roll around dance and play with yourself.  (sounds easy enough)


And if I get game I can get booked for private dances, It's $60 for 3 songs and i get to keep all the money i make in "extras" eg. $50 extra for touching all except Va-jayjay, or $80 for touching and hand play (hand jobs) although i wont be giving hand jobs. But i can do something like "$50 for touching and an extra $100  for kissing, but just for you i will charge only $120 for both together"
So you see how you can make a ton of money.
oh and there is no "full service" allowed, so no head and no sex. if you do you will get the boot like "that" *snapping fingers*

Neena (the stripper who looks after the girls) said that i will make a heap of money, 1) Because punters love a new girl, and 2) because I'm pretty and have a good look.

I got to pick a name, It was hard but i ended up picking Rose.
Neena said its perfect because i look a bit sweet and delicate, and i look like an English Rose with my fair skin and blue eyes and full red lips. 



Just FYI. I will put on makeup and i will do my hair and i will put on some lipstick, oh and i wont have on my "My milk shakes bring all the boys to the yard" tank top on. I do have some class, I'm an English Rose after all.


But It is nice to know that everyone that works there said that i will be "raking" it in. how sweet :)


So because Rose is my other side i can make her whoever i want, It then poses a question "Who is Rose?"

I want her to be beautiful, skilled, desirable and elegant like Bell from Call Girl



I want her to be sweet and funny like Anna Faras. (from all of the Scary movie franchise and any rom-com)

And Charming and sexy like Marilyn. Who can resist that charm and heavy lidded eyes. 

But she will need to be strong and clever with a quick wit while keeping her sex appeal  like Samantha from Sex and the City.

All of those people are blonde. Together they make the ultimate blonde bombshell. 

So with these powers combined I give you Rose.


I hope it goes well. I really want to get stuff for myself and go shopping. :)


Talk soon 

Awkward girl xoxox

ps... don't judge me. ok. i'm doing this for clothes and shoes.